The Gift of Time
When I began speaking for a living 35 years ago, preparing for a talk required several books opened on my desk and a trip or two to the library to look up material related to my topic. Today, I can sit at my desk with a laptop and have all the information I could possibly need at my fingertips. The amount of time saved is immense.
Think of areas in your life where you can do a task now in a fraction of the time you used to do it. Secretaries, remember how long it took to create a perfect document with no mistakes when you were using just a typewriter? Bookkeepers, remember life before Quickbooks? Everything took longer. It even required a lot more time to stay connected with your friends and colleagues before the advent of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn. We have saved ourselves enormous amounts of time with all of our new technologies. But what are we using the extra time for?
- Are we sitting mindlessly staring at Facebook for hours on end each day?
- Are we binge watching Netflix until the wee hours of the morning?
- Are we following the dysfunctional 24 hour news cycle so we can be totally ‘up to date’ on what is happening in our world?
- Are we keeping up with the lives of the Kardashians or the Bachelors or the Real House Wives of wherever? Please tell me it ain’t so. 🙁
We live in an amazing time. We have life hacks available to us our predecessors could not have imagined. We can do more now than ever before. Don’t blow it. Don’t spend your extra time doing small minded things. Get outside. Hike. Read a good book. Work out at the gym. Make a cake for someone who needs some cheering up. Cut an elderly person’s yard. Volunteer for a good cause. Travel. Learn to cook something different, maybe even ethnic. Plant a garden. Learn a new skill. Take up a hobby. Go fly fishing. Etc…..
You get the idea. We have been given a great gift to live in the time we live in. Make the most of it. Live big. Don’t settle for simply watching others lives on television. You can make your life something wonderful. You can do it. We all can.
Living the Big Life,
Ray
How Can I Talk to Them When They Don’t Pay Attention?
I read some terrible news this week. Our attention spans are now shorter than the attention span of a goldfish!
Please say it isn’t true! Microsoft just completed a landmark study that determined a human’s attention span on average is 8 seconds. A goldfish, on average, has an attention span of 9 seconds. The study points out our ability to concentrate has been in a serious decline the last 10 years. I am not surprised. Our digital lifestyles are seriously affecting our ability to focus on any tasks.
All leaders need to know their directives are being received. If you need people to really hear a message you are trying to communicate, here are a couple of ideas that will help.
Use compelling visuals. We live in a post literate world. People know how to read, they just don’t take the time to read. Words spoken become a low level hum in your listeners ears after a few minutes. Using a visual can often be the difference in your message being received or lost. Recently, a good friend of mine was teaching a group of people about the benefit of walking through dark seasons. He closed his talk by planting a seed into a pot of soil. His brief explanation about the seed and its growth, coupled with the visual locked it in my mind forever. It will work for you too if you take time and choose great visuals to communicate your message.
Simplify for share-ability sake. Communicating complex ideas in a paragraph is good. It is even better when you can say it in a sentence. I can write an essay on the importance of exercise for a positive mental outlook. You won’t remember any of it. But I can say, “Move a muscle and change a mood,” and you won’t forget it. Why? Because it is simple and is easily shared. Our important communication needs to become more thought out and compressed if we want our tribe to remember what we have said.
How we did it in the 1980’s won’t get it done in 2016. We need to realize digital lifestyles are making focus a thing of the past. That’s ok. We can adjust. We still need to get our message across. We simply need to be a little more intentional in how we do it.
Living the Big Life.
Ray
Be the Hero
Last week at the Deupree House senior living facility where he lives, Dr. Henry Heimlich performed his namesake medical procedure on a choking victim. The person was 87 year old Patty Ris, also a resident at the Deupree House. A bite of hamburger had gone down her throat wrong and she began to choke. Staff was called. When they arrived they saw Dr. Heimlich rendering aid. Normally, residents are discouraged from trying to help in situations like this. Because it was Heimlich no one interfered. He performed his maneuver once and the food blocking Ms. Ris’ windpipe was dislodged. After a few moments, he did it again and her windpipe was totally clear. By the way, Dr. Heimlich is 96 years old.
I am grateful Dr. Heimlich had information that was able to help save a life. I am glad he did not think himself too old to use what he knew to help another.
A few thoughts…..
- You have insight and wisdom that can save people from some of the pains you have known in your life. Don’t be shy about sharing that wisdom. All won’t listen, but some will, and they will be glad.
- You are never too old to be a hero. When a situation needs a hero, be one.
- Chew your hamburger really well today. Dr. Heimlich is busy doing media interviews and probably will be too busy to help.
Just a thought about “Big Living.”
Ray
Stepping Back to Move Ahead
My hometown Atlanta Braves are terrible this year. I don’t mean that they are bad, I mean they are truly terrible. Some people predict they might lose more games this year than any team has ever lost in the history of professional baseball. That’s a little over the top. The Cleveland Spiders in 1899 lost 134 games and only won 20. I believe their record is secure, but that doesn’t change the fact that the team that once suited up players like Hank Aaron, Chipper Jones, Tom Glavine and Greg Maddox, and was managed by the great Bobby Cox is this year TERRIBLE!
Believe it or not, this poor play is not necessarily a bad thing. You see, the Braves are terrible this year by design. Upper management determined a couple of years ago that the Braves were not built for long term success. So they busted the team up and traded almost all the good players away for young players with low salaries but great potential. They have been on a mission to stack the organization with great young talent. The plan is for this young team to mature and in a couple of years become one of the elite teams in professional baseball. If it works, they should be able to dominate for many years to come.
So what does this have to do with living a Big Life? Many times we have to take a step back before we can move ahead. It is not fun, but it might be necessary. So don’t be afraid of retooling for your big run. A year or two of getting the pieces in order for the Big Life you are dreaming of, sounds like a good strategy to me.
Becoming Young
When asked why his early works looked so solemn but later works seemed more exuberant & exciting, Pablo Picasso replied: “It takes a long time to become young.”
I think the great artist was on to something. I believe it is possible to grow older but not grow old. To mature in wisdom and knowledge and at the same time become more playful and childlike. I have watched a few octogenarians demonstrate this idea beautifully. Here are a few of the things they do that separate them from their peers.
- They live with enormous gratitude. It almost is laughable how thankful these seniors are for all things. It is childlike, naive and quite beautiful. I do not believe you can be young when you are old without gratitude.
- They maintain optimal health for their age and constantly work on staying in the best shape possible. Dick Van Dyke wrote recently in his book Keep Moving: And Other Tips and Truths About Aging, that he refused to go down the stairs sideways no matter how much it hurts him to walk down normally. He believes as soon as you give in to the temptation, the over-compensation will result in hip, knee, and other injuries that just make aging worse.” Dick Van Dyke was born in 1925 and is 90 years old. And, he carries himself like a man 40 years younger.
- They forgo worry. They have lived long enough to know that worry never helps a situation. They have learned to change those things they can change and accept those things that can’t be changed. But most of all, they don’t spend any energy worrying.
- They live with purpose. They serve in their community, church or synagogue. They make cakes and take them to people they know who are homebound. They stay in touch with their friends on the phone or on Facebook. They look out for each other. They keep their grandkids or their great grandkids – regularly. They live meaningful lives that give them a sense they are still contributing to their world. Their lives matter. They have a reason to get out of bed every day.
- They have finally become comfortable in their own skin. They no longer have to put on a facade. They can be who they truly are. And that is very liberating.
I was a pretty serious young man. I had places to go and people to see and successes to accumulate. I wasn’t always sure where I was going but I knew I was moving fast. I was told more than once that I had a permanent scowl on my face. I was stressed out. I was old, yet still young. Now it is reversed. The stress is leaving. The laugh lines are growing deeper. I am learning to love people with no judgement. Life is sweeter than I ever thought it could be. I am truly thankful for every new day. It does take a long time to become young. But the journey is oh so worth it.
Take the Limiters Off
On May 6th in 1954, at the Iffley Road Track in Oxford, England, medical student Roger Bannister became the first person in recorded history to run the mile in under four minutes. It had been thought to be physically impossible. But somehow Bannister took the limiters off and did it. And over the next years more and more runners broke the 4 minute mile mark all because one young man broke the barrier in his own mind.
This past week, in the Nevada desert the Hyperloop Propulsion Open Air Test was done. Hyperloop is the brainchild of Elon Musk and a group of engineers from Tesla and SpaceX. They published a speculative design document for a concept they called “The Hyperloop in 2013. The idea is to be able to travel on land and underwater in a vacuum tube at around 760 mph.
When this idea comes to fruition we will be able to travel on ground faster than if we were in a jet. Imagine traveling one day between these cities by Hyperloop.
L.A. to San Francisco in 35 minutes
Montreal to Toronto in 30 minutes
L.A. to Vegas in 20 minutes
Dubai to Abu Dhabi in 15 minutes
London to Paris in 15 minutes
Some say the idea is too grand and it can’t be done. But a handful of visionaries and engineers are proving them wrong. The test last week demonstrated a motor that accelerated from zero to 100 mph in just one second. The motor quickly moved to a speed of over 335 mph. This is just the beginning. It will happen and it will be done by men and women who have taking the limiters off. They are going places no one has ever imagined going before.
What about you? Is there an area of your life where you need to believe beyond conventional wisdom? Do you need to stretch a little? Why can’t it be done? Open your eyes and ears and heart today to the idea that you can live beyond the limiters that are arbitrarily set all around you. Roger Bannister and Elon Musk have done it. You can do it, too. Then you will be on your way to living a truly Big Life.
The 3 C’s For Your Inner Circle
In life you will constantly be looking for people to be in your inner circle. These individuals will help move you to the next level in your life. Your inner circle will include your spouse, your closest business associates and partners.
Over the last 30 years I have seen more mistakes made here than anywhere else. I have also made mistakes that have set me back years by not thinking through fully the people I allowed into my inner circle. Here are 3 traits absolutely necessary for anyone to be allowed on your team or in your business, at least at the upper level.
- Character – By character I am talking about a person who is known for moral excellence. A quick disclaimer… I have not always prioritized this trait for people close to me, and I have not always embodied this trait myself. In either scenario it has cost me. As I have matured I have realized character is critical to building a big sustainable life. Can people trust you? Do you have a good work ethic? Do you show up on time? Can you handle confidentialities? Do you pay your bills? If you enter a partnership with someone with character issues, it will bite you at some point. Regardless of talent, the character component is critical.
- Competency – In a growing business or organization you need people with talents, insights and skill sets that compliment your competencies if you want to succeed. If you look around the table and you do not see those competencies, your organization will not thrive. You have to hire talent. Years ago I sat at a NCAA Bowl Game with a friend who was the Director of Player Development for an NFL Team. He told me teams are looking for talent in the NFL draft. He said you cannot win without players who possess a unique ability to play the game. They have learned over years of research that the best teams have the best players. Competency matters. I have heard it said like this. You can’t take a mule and win the Kentucky Derby. Talented people make a team first class. If you don’t have talent, you will always be mediocre and you will never reach your full potential.
- Chemistry – This is a trait I have ignored and it has hurt me. I have hired people who had excellent character and were very competent yet, they possessed no chemistry with me. This never works. You might convince yourself it won’t matter, but it really does. If you are working closely with someone you need chemistry. I define chemistry as the positive energy between two people. When you have it, you love being around the other person and you feel energized when you interact together. On the other hand, there are some people whose personality simply sucks the energy out of a room. Those people cannot be in your inner circle regardless of how talented or how much character they have.
When putting your team together, make sure the 3 C’s are present. If they are there, your success will be much more likely. If they are not…..well you have been warned.
No Regrets
I use to think death was everyone’s greatest fear. I don’t think that way any more. I think when we have lived life fully and done what we had hoped to do, we can accept death with a level of understanding and grace. Here is what most of us miss. What we fear the most is not having lived life to the fullest extent possible. We all lament coming to the end of our life with our final words being, “I wish I had ………”
Your Amazing Brain
Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher and Franciscan Priest who recently spoke about a meeting he had with a Neuropsychologist who was at a conference he was leading. The Neuropsychologist told Rohr that the latest studies on the brain revealed an interesting fact regarding how the brain responds to negative and positive thoughts. He said negative thoughts stick in the brain like velcro, while positive thoughts slip out of the brain as if they were teflon. This is called the negativity bias.
That new finding resonated with me. I can experience positive things all day long, and tomorrow I can’t remember any of them. Then, let one negative thing happen, and I can give you all the details about it weeks from now.
Is there any way to reverse the brain’s natural tendency to hang on to the negative and quickly release the positive? Rohr said contemplation is the only thing that makes the positive stick. When you encounter something lovely like a beautiful sunset, a kind word or gesture offered, or a baby’s laugh, focus on it. Think deeply about it for at least 15 seconds. When you do that, it changes everything. The brain will hold on to those positive thoughts you have focussed on and they will lodge in your brain. This becomes a good counter balance to the velcro response to negative stimuli. You will be much healthier with the positive thoughts filling your mind.
How we think affects how we live. Focussing on the positive is a huge part of living a big life.
Ray
Living the Big Life at 86
My mother-in-law, Joyce Shadinger, is maybe the coolest person I have ever known. She was born 86 years ago in rural GA, the baby of 8 children. Shortly after Joyce was born her dad died. She grew up working on a 50 acre farm. They raised cotton and all the food they ate. Her family made it through the great depression with hard work, determination and a lot of love.
In 1950, Joyce married her true love, Julian, and had two children. Her husband died in 1982 from pancreatic cancer. Her only son and only grandson died in 1997 in a horrific tragedy. That left her with her daughter, (my wife) Jane, and her granddaughter, Jenna.
I met Joyce in 2005. Instantly I knew she was not ordinary. And, as each year passes she grows more special.
Here’s what I mean….
Joyce lives every day as if she truly sees it as a gift. Gratitude just pours out of her. She appreciates everything. It never fails. When she goes to a party, play or church service she always says the same thing. “Ray, I think that was the best (fill in the blank) I have ever seen.” She genuinely thinks every experience she has is simply the best. I get tickled at this, but then I think, what a great way to live.
Joyce knows she won’t live on this earth forever, but while she’s here she’s going to squeeze the most out of every day. At 86, Joyce keeps a busier schedule than most of us in our 50’s. She gets up early, exercises and hits the road. She meets friends who walk with her every day. She meets friends for breakfast. She helps with activities at her church. She makes food for everyone. She meets friends for lunch. She does Zumba. She babysits her great grandkids. She helps her daughter host huge dinner parties. She travels. She sings in the church choir. She works a garden. She drives all over town. I am simply amazed at her commitment to keep moving.
Please don’t misunderstand. I am not implying that Joyce always feels great. She does not. She has had both hips replaced and two serious eye surgeries over the last 6 years. There are times when I know she is hurting. And yet, she has a toughness unlike anything I have ever seen. When she is in pain I have seen her take 2 BC powders then head to her garden to till the soil and plant something. She says it’s therapy. Her attitude is, I will rest when I die. Until then I want to keep moving.
Many older people I know have not only grown more sedentary, but because they sit and watch things like FOX News, they have grown more afraid of life. Not my mother-in-law. She doesn’t have time to watch the endless news cycle. She knows there is bad in the world. She lived through WW2. There has always been bad. She just refuses to dwell on it or let it paralyze her.
One more thing about Joyce that sets her apart from so many people. As she ages, her acceptance of people is not shrinking, but getting larger. So many people Joyce’s age from GA have deep seated prejudices against people who are different. My mother-in-law has a wonderful way of just loving everybody. Her friends are from every race, religion, and orientation.
Joyce is a truly unique person. I have never met anyone quite like her. I stand in awe of her. I have found myself praying a different prayer than I thought I would be praying at this stage of my life…..
Dear God, please let me grow older just like her.
Living the Big Life
Ray